


Tales of Many Fandoms

by PattRose



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: AU, Humor, M/M, Tales of Many Fandoms
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-17
Updated: 2013-08-17
Packaged: 2017-12-23 18:53:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 14,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/929902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PattRose/pseuds/PattRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>These are something I like to call 'Leaps of Character'. What we have done here is take our favorite guys and plop them down in other fandoms. Think Quantum Leap minus the 'quantum' part. Call me 'Al'. These are a collection of short stories, snippets actually, where we have suspended reality and invoked our senses of humor. These stories are AU meets Crossover. A 'what if' if you will. Many fandoms are represented here, so please sit back and kick up your feet and enjoy. Proceed at your own risk, Ziggy. (This blurb was written by Lisa, Duncan's Twin.)</p><p>What would happen if we took Jim and placed him inside of Batman and Blair inside of Robin?   And what would happen if we put JIm and Blair into all different fandoms?  Name change is all that's different.  </p><p>Blair Greyburg and James Wayson  Part 1</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. SAme Bat Time, Same Bat Channel.

Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel By Patt 

James Wayson walked through his huge home listening for one thing. He wanted to hear where his main squeeze was. He'd missed sex for the last five days and nights. Thus is life when you're a much sought after hero. Sometimes, it seemed too much for James. He just wanted a nice quiet night alone with Blair Greyburg. He could hear Blair downstairs in the bat cave. What was he doing? 

He got to the doorway of the opening to the secret hideaway and said, "Greyburg, what are you doing?" 

He watched as Blair kept going up and down the bat pole. Looking up at James, Blair smiled and said, "Hey, man, I'm warming up your dinner." 

Nothing could stop the laughter from leaving the usually very uptight and rigid James Wayson. This young man was enough to loosen anyone up. In addition, James meant and thought that for many different things now. Who would have thought he would have let someone suck and fuck him? Not he. James felt privileged to belong to Blair Greyburg. And belong to him, he did. Blair Greyburg was not only the love of his life but he was a very possessive man. The younger man would have no other man or woman looking at his property, more or less. 

He moved over to the pole and pulled Blair into his arms. Smiling, Blair said, "Dinner is done, all warmed up for you." 

"Thank you, young master Blair," James said as he lowered himself in front of Blair and opened up Blair's pants, taking out his cock and beginning to suck on it until Blair was very close to the edge. 

"James, wait a minute," Blair said, stopping him before he himself lost control. 

"What's wrong, Robin?" 

"I want you in your suit. I want to do it on top of the bat mobile," Blair said. 

"Blair, the suit is uncomfortable when we have sex. I don't want to wear it," James said trying not to look into Blair's eyes. He knew that once he did, he'd be a goner. 

"That's okay, I've been thinking about it all day long but it's not that important," Blair said. 

"I'll be right back," James said getting up and walking to the closet next to the car, pulling out his suit and stripped down to his bare skin and then put part of the suit on. Blair liked when he wore only the top half. He liked James to have his bottom half where he could get to it. Once his had this on, he put his mask on and then walked over and got down on his knees once again. 

"No, Batman, you have to do me on the car," Robin pleaded. 

"Yes, Robin, whatever you want, you know you'll get. You know I want you," Batman answered that plea and added a whine of his own. 

He pulled Blair up and laid him across the hood of the car. Blair got so hot watching James in this suit and nothing on the bottom; he was ready to come just from that. 

As they began kissing, an alarm went off and Robin said to Batman, "If you even think about leaving me right now, like this, I'll see to it that you never have me again." 

"Robin, we need to answer the bat call. You know that. It's part of the job," Batman said resignedly. 

Very quickly, Blair pulled James down over the hood of the car, got the lube out of his pocket and began to get him ready to get fucked royally. "Robin, we need to go before Alfred checks on us." 

Robin swallowed Batman and deep throated him, so quickly that Batman's breath was almost taken away. "Holy Shit, Robin," Batman screamed out as he came down his throat. 

Blair flipped James over on his belly on the hood of the car. Hearing Alfred at the top of the stairs, he yelled out, "If you know what's good for you, you won't come down here. I'm going to get me some of this, or I'll be getting it from someone else in this house." Just as quickly as that top door had opened, it shut again. James laughed quietly at Blair's candor with their butler and friend. 

Blair got James ready for his cock, when he slowly entered him, Blair said, "Holey Moley, Batman. You feel great. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. You feel so great." 

As he pounded into James, he pulled him away from the car, so he could see if James had an erection again. He did! Somehow, Blair knew he would. He started pumping James as he continued to pound into him. 

James pushed himself lower so that Blair could have better access to his ass. God, the older man loved when the younger one did this. As James felt his orgasm closing in on him, he said, "Robin, fuck me hard and give it to me now." 

Just like that, Robin came. After all, with a voice like that, what could he do? 

Finally shrinking, he pulled slowly out of James and said, "Hot damn, but this job makes me warm for your form." 

"Yeah, I know what form it makes you warm for," James replied. 

"Damn right, my dark, mysterious man," Blair said smiling and kissing him. 

"I love you, Blair," James said, "thanks for the great time." 

"I love you, too. And you're very welcome." Blair said. 

"Same time tomorrow? Same bat day, same bat channel?" James asked. 

"Damned straight," Blair said laughing as they headed upstairs to clean up before heading out to save lives and fight crime once again. 

The end


	2. When the Moon Hits Your Eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More of Batman and Robin, or should I say, Jim and Blair.

When The Moon Hits Your Eye By Patt 

James Wayson, aka Batman was driving the batmobile to where the bat signal was shining above. Blair Greyburg sat in the seat next to him. 

"Hey, James, how much you want to make a bet it's not even a big thing?" Blair said. 

James smiled and took Blair's hand and put it on his hardening cock and said, "Who said it's not a big thing?" 

"Oh man, you are like such a slut, Batman," Blair said laughing as he continued to rub James through the suit. 

As the drive continued, Batman was getting closer and closer to coming in his suit. He really didn't want to do that. How embarrassing would that be? So he pulled the batmobile over to the side of the road and said, "Okay, I have to have you now." 

They both got out of the car and took their costumes off. Once naked, James started preparing Blair for final entry. Blair liked to call it that. James thought it immature, but who was he to talk? He was the one fucking his young partner, on the side of the road, without their suits on, and the batmobile in plain sight. 

Lying between Blair's legs, he said, "Robin, I want you. I love you." 

Blair, aka Robin, looked up at the sky and saw the bat signal growing stronger and stronger. For some reason, this made him think of the moon and he smiled. As James began final entry, Blair began to sing. 

"When the moon hits your eye, like a big pizza pie, that's amore," Blair sang sweetly and James tried to keep his mind on what he was doing, but found himself looking up into the sky along with Blair. Seeing the bat signal, and hearing Blair sing to him, was enough to push him over the edge. Upon feeling his Batman coming, Robin could do nothing else, but to follow suit. After all, they were partners in crime fighting. He was Batman's sidekick. He was Batman's shadow. He was Batman's amore. 

"You're my Amore," Batman said softly into Robin's ear. 

"You're my Vita," Robin replied. Because after all, without Batman's love, he would have no life. 

"Now, off to fight crime," Batman said standing up and getting dressed quickly. 

"Oh wow, what a fucking romantic," Robin answered as he climbed into the batmobile and smiled at his love knowing that he really was a romantic. It's hard being a romantic super hero. Blair would have to learn to deal. 

The end.


	3. Believe it or Not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Blair meet Leathal Weapon.

Author notes: Okay, everyone, I tried to do a slash one with the guys, but guess what? Knowing how Mel Gibson feels about gays, I just couldn't do it. I could not make Jim be that person. This is the best I could come up with. Oh hell, it's a gen story. Man, I'm pissed now. 

 

Believe It Or Not!   
By Patt 

James Riggs turned over in bed and eyed his partner and best friend, Simon Murtah. The smile that was on his face, left instantly. What were you thinking of, Riggs? Did you even bother to think about Trish and the kids? 

He got up from bed and went into the shower. Simon had just complained last night that they needed to get James moved closer into town. He had said something about needing a larger shower so Simon could stand up straight. As he finished up, he heard the door open. Simon glanced into the shower and said, "There isn't enough room to stand up in this shower." 

"I know that, Simon," James answered. 

James moved out of the shower and Simon knew that the 'talk' was coming soon. He could tell with James the last few times they'd slept together. He needed more than Simon could give him. Damn, I love being this man's partner. I knew it was too good to last. 

Simon followed James into the kitchen and said, "Riggs, wanna talk to me about it? Or do I just have to guess?" 

"I'd like to know what you plan on doing with both me and Trish. I love Trish. I can't stand hurting her and this hurts her," Riggs rambled. 

"Slow down, Riggs, slow down," Murtah said. 

"Well, I want to tell Trish. It's only right," Riggs said. 

"Riggs, what do you think that will accomplish?" Simon asked not knowing exactly how to feel. 

"Well I'd feel better for one thing. Not to mention that we'd be able to tell people at work where you are at night," Riggs said. 

"What are you nuts? You want that idiot woman shrink to follow us around non-stop?" Simon asked. 

"So you don't want anyone to know?" James asked with hurt apparent in his voice. 

"Of course I don't want anyone to know," Simon said pulling his clothing on. 

"You're not going to tell Trish?" James asked. 

"No, I don't think it's necessary. Why do you?" Simon asked looking at his friend and wondering why everything had to be so hard with this man. 

"You're going to have to tell her one of these days or I will," James said. 

"Don't threaten me, James. Believe me, that won't work," Simon said storming out the front door. 

James got dressed and drove over to Simon's house to talk to Trish. He knew it had to be done. She'd be hurt, but at least they'd get past that first step. 

When she opened up the door she smiled and pulled James into a hug and asked him into the house. Their talk began and it went as well as expected. 

James got to the station, walked in, saw Simon and said, "I talked with Trish today. She's upset, but she's handling it pretty well. She's going to go see someone this afternoon. 

"Riggs, I asked you to not tell her," Murtah said. 

"Well, Simon, someone had to," Riggs said defiantly. 

"I specifically asked you not to say one word to her. You're an asshole," Murtah said walking into the break room. 

Everyone in the station was watching to see what was going on with the two detectives. They followed down the hallway. They just knew that something was going on with these two. This might be their best chance to find out. 

Outside the room they heard, "Murtah, I had to tell her. It was for all of our sakes. You can't keep sleeping with me every night and not tell her." 

The people outside the hallway all had their mouths hanging open. Shit, they had hoped to get something juicy but figured they'd get nothing. Who would have thunk? 

As Simon rounded the corner, he saw everyone standing there. "Oh great, Riggs, now everyone knows about it." 

Riggs tried to smooth it over. "Hey, it's not that bad, really. I mean you all act like you've never heard of this before." 

"We're in shock that you're fucking Murtah," one co-worker said. 

"We're not fucking. He's just sleeping over," Riggs said. 

"Trish has a tooth grinding problem and it was driving me nuts. I couldn't sleep," Murtah said trying to explain. 

Everyone backed away from them and went back to what they were doing. 

"Riggs, you think they believed us?" Simon asked. 

"Why not? It sounded reasonable to me," James said smiling. 

"Thanks for letting me sleep over. Hopefully, that damn specialist will help Trish and I'll be able to move home again," Murtah said. 

Meanwhile, down the hall, that stupid woman shrink who hates Murtah and Riggs was listening to what the cops had to tell her. "You heard this with your own ears?" she asked. 

"Yeah, supposedly, Riggs told Trish this morning," the cop said. 

"I'll take it from here," she said as she pushed them out of her office. I'll stop there on my way home to console her. 

End.


	4. The Lone Ranger Creed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Lone Ranger and Tonto.

The Lone Ranger Creed

"I believe that to have a friend, a man must be one. That all men are created equal and that everyone has within himself the power to make this a better world. That God put the firewood there but that every man must gather and light it himself. In being prepared physically, mentally and morally to fight when necessary for that which is right. That a man should make the most of what equipment he has. That 'This government of the people, by the people and for the people' shall live always. That men should live by the rule of what is best for the greatest number. That sooner or later...somewhere...somehow...we must settle with the world and make payment for what we have taken. That all things change but truth...and that truth alone...lives on forever. In my Creator...my country...and my fellow man."

The Lone Ranger, Jim to his friends, said his Ranger's creed over and over again, hoping to make sense of life in general. Then he realized, that the creed was so true that even he didn't sometimes notice things. Take Tontoburg for instance. 

One night The Lone Ranger, and Tontoburg were lying on the ground in their two man tent. (They didn't do three ways.) As they began to get sleepy, Jim asked Tontoburg, "Chief, do you know where we'll find the lost jewels of the late Mrs. Banks?"

"Kee Mo Sabey, I don't have any idea. Maybe you know where we should go," Tontoburg said. 

"Oh shut up with the Kee Mo Sabey bit, you're more educated than any ten white men. So stop doing that," Jim said sternly. 

"Fine, Jim. If it makes you feel better, no I have no idea where the jewels would be hidden," Tontoburg answered. 

Both men, being tired after a hard days ride fell asleep until the middle of the night, when for some reason, Jim was woken from his slumber. Looking around he got closer to Tontoburg and said, "Tontoburg wake up. Tell me what you see."

"I see stars, many, many stars in the very bright sky. Made brighter only by the most glorious moon. What do you see?" Tontoburg answered. 

"I see the sky too, Chief, someone stole our tent," Jim replied as he began to kiss his guide with longing and need like he hadn't felt in some time. 

"Ranger, why do you choose now to become romantic?" Tontoburg asked. 

"Tontoburg, I'm always romantic, but usually we have the tent blocking our view," Jim replied as he continued to kiss his friend into quiet. 

As things got closer and closer to the real thing, all that could be heard from Ranger was, "Hi Yo Silver, Away."

"Kee Mo Sabey, you are one kinky dude. Who else would name their dick after their horse? Come to think of it, it reminds me a little of Silver's. Hot damn, now I know why," Tontoburg said as Ranger fucked him senseless.


	5. City Street

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Blair meet 48 Hours.

CITY STREET

Heavy vehicle and pedestrian traffic. Cateburg stands near a hot dog stand. Elaine, his girlfriend joins him. Cateburg is eating a hot dog and studying a police file.

Elaine: Great place for lunch.

Cateburg: Yeah, one of my favorites.

Elaine: You made the front page.

He smiles as he hands her a dog.

Cateburg: Yeah, Guess it must have been a slow news day...

Elaine: Sandy, are you okay?

Cateburg: Sure, okay, fine, no problem...See, there's this guy in jail...First thing I got to do is go up and see what he knows...

He points to the file and shrugs.

Elaine: I thought you might come over to my place to recuperate. I don't have to go to work until the day after tomorrow.

They began to stroll down the street.

Cateburg: I got nothing to recuperate from. There's a guy out there with my gun, and I want it back.

Elaine was not happy with this attitude.

Elaine: Look, spare me the macho bullshit about your gun...

Cateburg: Bullshit? I'll tell you about bullshit. My gun's a real weapon in the hands of a real maniac who knows how to use it. It isn't my macho bullshit that's killing people; my gun is...

Elaine: Look, Sandy, if you make everything your personal responsibility, you'll turn into a bad cop. It's not a practical way to function...

Cateburg: I didn't get burned, two cops did. Listen, I'll tell you about personnel responsibility. I like to get the job done right. And if I don't get my job done right... I'm for shit.

Elaine: Here it comes again... the sacred job...

Cateburg: That's right. I'm not like you. I'm not gonna sit on my ass wondering what's right and what's wrong... There's a psycho out there killing people with my gun and I'm gonna get him. Because it's my job. And if you don't get that...

Elaine: I get that. The job first. Everything else, especially me, second. I get it. I don't like it.

I'm really tired of this shit. Why can't she be supportive? Maybe now would be the time to tell her that I'm thinking about checking some men out. 

Cateburg: No one asked you to like it... But that's the way it is.

PRISON CELL BLOCK 

Cateburg and a Guard on the upper deck approach the door to the cell block... The Guard shouts upward.

Guard: Open Nine.

With a huge metal clatters the door to the cell block opens.

CELL BLOCK - NEAR ENTRANCE

Cateburg and the Guard go through the door.

Guard: Close Nine.

They move forward together.

Guard: (continuing) It's Number Twenty-two... You want company?

Cateburg: No, no thanks.

The Guard shrugs and stays by the door.

Cateburg walks down the cell block. Inmates stare at him from inside the stark cells. They don't know who he is, but they can smell a cop. Cateburg stops at Twenty-two, looks inside... a bit startled. Obviously, Reginald James Hamson has connections and taste. The paint is fresh; there's framed prints on the wall instead of pin-ups, and the overall feeling is that of a graduate school dorm rather than a prison. Cateburg turns, nods to the Guard at the end of the cell block. He throws a switch and the door opens.

Hamson'S Cell

Cateburg steps inside. Hamson is at a table wearing a Sony Walkman and writing in some detailed ledgers with a fountain pen. He's boogeying in his seat to the music. Sprawled on a bunk nearby is Henry Brown, a black inmate, and Hamson's pal. Henry is leafing through a copy of a skin magazine. He doesn't even look at Cateburg.

Cateburg: Hamson.

Cateburg steps inside the cell.

Cateburg(continuing): Hamson!

No answer. Cateburg leans over, hits the override button on the Sony.

Cateburg (continuing): Hamson!

Hamson jumps, grabs his ears in pain... He pulls the headset off and glares at Cateburg.

Hamson: You got a name, cop? (Jimmy looked him over from top to bottom and liked what he saw.)

Cateburg: Try Cateburg, but you can call me Sandy. And let's talk in private, okay?

Hamson: Sure, anything you want.

He tosses the Walkman to Henry who dutifully puts it on.

Cateburg: Look, convict, I know all about you. Single. No fixed address. No relatives that you stay in touch with. One previous conviction. Armed robbery... six months to go on a three-year sentence.

Hamson: You here to write my life story? Jesus he's fucking gorgeous. If he wasn't a cop, I'd drill him right here. Right now.

Cateburg: Not likely, Jimmy. Maybe I just need some help.

Cateburg takes the forensic photo out of his pocket, passes it across the table to Hammond. He looks at it, hardly reacts.

Hamson: Henry Wong... My old pal. He's looked better...

He passes the photo back to Sandy Cateburg.

Hamson(continuing): Look, I got just six months before gettin' out of here. Six months between me and freedom after bein' here three years... And I'm not gonna do anything to screw it up, includin' pee in the prison yard, knock up the Warden's daughter or rat on my old partners...

Cateburg swings the cell door back open.

 

He smiles, decides to play his card.

Cateburg (continuing): I can see a second-rater like you wouldn't be any help at all goin' up against a real hard case like Ganz.

Hamson jerks his head around and asks, "Ganz? Is Ganz the one who shot Henry? Cateburg, I asked you a friggin question."

Cateburg smiles and answers, "Yeah, I noticed."

Hamson: Ganz is in jail. He's gonna be there two years after I'm on the street.

Cateburg: Didn't work out that way. He busted out with a big Indian. They capped two guards on a road gang. Nice meeting you Jimmy.

He turns, goes out. The door clangs behind him. Hamson jumps up and bangs on the bars, shouts at Cateburg's back...

Hamson: Cateburg. Come back here.

Cateburg turns, saunters back, leans against the door. He gives Hamson a once over, from head to toe and likes what he sees. He makes sure that the convict knows he likes it too.

Cateburg: Yeah?

Hamson: I can deliver Ganz. But you gotta get me outta here first. Jesus, he likes the looks of me too.

Cateburg: You're crazy.

Hamson: I can help you, man, but you gotta get me out. I got to be on the street. Get me outta here.

Cateburg: What's the big deal about you bein' on the street?

Hamson: I got a lot to protect.

Cateburg: Bullshit.

Hamsom: It's the only way you're gonna get Ganz.

Cateburg: I'll think about it.

Maybe if I have him on the outside, I'll get me some of that.

Cateburg typed several official looking documents while seated across from a rather dour-looking bureaucrat named Bob.

Cateburg: Let me borrow your pen, Bob.

Bob: You going to use your own name?

Cateburg: Shit, no.

He began to sign the documents.

Bob: Sandy, just remember one thing. If all this comes down, you don't know me. I'm not gonna burn for you. And I'll tell you something else. If it all comes down, your ass is new-mown grass.

Cateburg: Right. Hey, no sweat.

He hands over the papers. Smiles.

Bob: You got him for 48 hours.  
You got a big career as a forger if you decide to go that way, Sandy... I'll ring security.

PROCESS ROOM 

The Guard leads Hamson to a steel cage. Hamson's now wearing a beautifully tailored suit.

The Guard shouts to another guard on the far side, take a look at this guy, he looks good enough to eat. 

Hamson: You wish...

Guard: Prisoner G21355... Hamson...

Second Guard: Okay. Send him through.

The gate slides open. The Guard gestures for Hamson to enter. Hamson walks to the far side of the pen. The first gate closes, the second one opens.

Hamson turns and walks over to Cateburg. The Guard comes up to Cateburg, double checks his orders then unlocks Hamson's cuffs.

Guard: Gotta sign for him.

Cateburg: Sure thing...

He looks over at Hammond who smiles at him. Then looks at Hamson's clothes...

Cateburg: (continuing) This prison gives out $400 suits?

Hamson: What are you talkin' about? This suit's mine. It cost $900.

Hamson dusts off a sleeve.

Cateburg: We're supposed to be after a killer, not a string of hookers...

Hamson: Listen, I got a reputation for looking real sharp with the ladies... And why are you complaining, I see your package doesn't mind how I look.

Cateburg: Keep your voice down, and what are you doing staring at my package?

Hamson: Same thing that you're doing staring at mine. I think I'd like doing a cop. 

Cateburg: Oh god, I'm going to be stuck with a slut for 48 hours.

Hamson: You say this like it's a bad thing. (Grinning.)

Cateburg hands some papers to the Guard.

Guard: He's all yours.

The Guard walks away as Hamson feels Cateburg's shirt.

Hamson: We could change this for something good...Get you lookin' sharp for me.

Cateburg gives him a look.

Cateburg: I don't need to hear your jive. I already got that department taken care of...

Hamson: You got a guy... shit... the generosity of men never ceases to amaze me.

Cateburg: No, I don't have a guy. I've got a girlfriend. 

Hamson: Oh good, I'm with a man in denial for 48 hours. This would be my speed. 

Cateburg slaps a cuff on Hamson's outstretched wrist and, then puts the other on his own wrist.

Hamson: (continuing) Hey, no way. Take off the bracelets or no deal.

Cateburg: You just don't get it, do your Jimmy? There isn't any deal. I own your ass.

Hamson: No way to start a partnership.

Cateburg: Get this. We ain't partners. We ain't brothers. We ain't friends. I'm puttin' you down and keepin' you down until Ganz is locked up or dead. And if Ganz gets away, you're gonna be sorry we ever met.

Hamson: Shit. I'm already sorry.

Cateburg: Well if you behave, I'll show you what we can do with the cuffs later on. First we take care of business. Then we'll take care of my denial business. Deal?

Hamson: You've got a fucking deal. Ever been sucked off in the front seat of your car while driving? 

Cateburg: God, you really are a slut. Man, this is going to be one long assignment. (Sliding his hand over Jimmy's package as he said it.)

Hamson: Yup, it's a long one, but then, we're talking about two long ones. Can we stop somewhere on the way? 

Cateburg: Yeah, we can. Come on, lets get out of here.

Smiling both men walk out to the car, knowing that both of their lives have been changed. (For the better.)

The End


	6. Come Ride With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Blair meet Hardcastle and McCormick!

Come Ride With Me By Patt 

Judge Jim Hardellison sat at his bench in the courtroom wondering if the lawyer for Blair-Skid-McSandburg was ever going to shut up. Judge Hardellison saw something in the kid. He wasn't exactly a kid, but he was younger than the judge was. 

Finally, calling both lawyers up to his bench, he said, "I don't think that Mr. McSandburg's a menace to society, but at the same time, I feel he needs to pay society back somehow. So what I suggest is you let Mr. McSandburg join forces with me, live on my property and we'll fight crime together." 

McSandburg's lawyer grew livid and said, "You can't make my client live on your property, rent free, and force him to drive around and do things for you. That would be against his free will." 

"Well, then he can go back to prison," Judge Hardellison said quietly as he started to shut Blair McSandburg's file. 

"Just a moment, Judge," McSandburg's Lawyer said, "let me check and see what he wants to do. He turned and walked towards Blair McSandburg and said, "How do you feel about working with the judge, ridding the city of crime, and living rent free on his estate?" 

"That would be like so totally cool," McSandburg said and then added, "what about a car? I want a good car." 

"Judge, my client is willing to help you rid the city of crime and villains but he wants to know what kind of car he'll be driving," The Lawyer asked. 

"McSandburg, you're lucky I'm giving you a chance here. Don't be so worried about what you'll drive. In fact, you can ride with me in my truck," Judge Hardellison said. 

"Man, I like so don't want to be a ride along," McSandburg said. 

"Well, you have your choice... prison or my estate," Hardellison said. 

"Fine, I'll take the estate. Geeze, what a grump," McSandburg said smiling shyly at the Judge. 

Judge Hardellison looked at McSandburg and knew he was in deep shit. Just from that one smile alone his cock had gotten hard. Instant attraction. Maybe he'd get him a Coyote to drive. 

The end.


	7. Cyber Sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Blair meet Knight Rider.

Cyber Sex  
by PattRose

Michael Ellison was horny as all get out and hadn't had time to do anything except play with Rosie and her five daughters. All he knew was he wanted more than that. Damn it, he needed a night off. 

He told his boss that he was taking two days off, no matter what happened and that was that.

Michael sat down in front of his computer and went into a chat room, hoping to make small talk with someone interesting and have something to think about while he jacked off. This is getting so old but what are you going to do?

He entered the room and saw all of the people chatting and didn't really find any of them interesting and was about to give up when he got IM'd from someone he didn't know. 

Manly Car: Hi!

Studly Driver: Hi back!

Manly Car: Want to cyber sex?

Studly Driver: Sure, I guess. I've never done it, but I wouldn't mind trying it out.

Manly Car: I walked into your living room and commanded you to take all of your clothes off. I then took out the handcuffs and the blindfold.

Studly Driver: I took my clothes off without any questions asked. Oh god, I'm a slut. Then I anxiously wait to be hand cuffed and blindfolded. I'm getting hard just thinking about it. You like what you see and touch my cock as you're putting the handcuffs on. 

Manly Car: Slow down, Driver. I'm driving this time. I'm the boss. Spread your legs and get ready to have something done to you that you probably never had done to you.

Studly Driver: I doubt that there is anything that hasn't been done to me. 

Manly Car: Ever been rimmed?

Studly Driver: Okay, I take it back. No, never have. I lie down on the bed and spread my legs inviting you to come between them and lick whatever you want to lick. 

Manly Car: Your legs are spread, inviting, vibrating with need. I run my hand softly across your cock and you moan loudly. Then I take you into my mouth. You try to buck your body up to meet my mouth, but I'm holding you down. You are being sucked dry. Just when you're on the edge, I stop and spread your legs further. 

Studly Driver: I reach down and start to stroke myself slowly, watching you, watching me. This makes me even hotter, as it does you, too. Wait a minute, is this a woman. Shit, I forgot to ask.

Manly Car: You're stroking yourself slowly as I start to lick your balls, moving down further. Behind your balls, I'm licking and sucking making you begin whimpering in need. As I get to your pucker, you lift your ass up, so I'm able to get to you easier. You're truly a bottom boy slut.

Studly Driver: Shit, it's a guy. Fuck... Well, I'll just go with it. I haven't been this hard, ever.

Manly Car: Still there, Driver?

Studly Driver: Yes. I'm not only a bottom boy slut, but I'm a bottom boy slut on the edge. It's not going to take much to bring me over. You reach up and start touching my hole and push in a little and I come screaming.

Manly Car: Screaming is wonderful, Driver, who's name do you scream out?

Studly Driver: Does it make a difference? 

Manly Car: I'll tell you what? We'll both come at the same time and type in the names that we'll call out in ecstasy. 

Studly Driver: Sounds good to me. All right, Count to ten and then type and hit send. 

Manly Car: Michael...

Studly Driver: Kitt...

Manly Car: Michael, is that you? 

Studly Driver: Kitt Sandburg, please tell me that's not you. 

Manly Car: Okay, it's not me. 

Studly Driver: I don't fucking believe this. I finally get cyber sex and it's with my car. This is just too weird, even for me. 

Manly Car: Well, imagine how I feel? I was really hoping to have someone jack off in the car tonight. I like the sounds.

Studly Driver: You let people in the car? And they jack off? 

Manly Car: Well, tonight would have been the first night. I wanted it bad, Michael. I think you owe me this.

Studly Driver: So now you want me to sit in the car and jack off? Jesus, Kitt, I sit in the car all day long. I don't want to sit there and jack off. 

Manly Car: Whining doesn't become you, Michael. Try and thing about how it would be for me. I was all set for this. Finally getting something I wanted and you've ruined it for me. And since when are you gay? 

Studly Driver: I'm not gay. I've never been with a guy. 

Manly Car: I don't know how to tell you this, Michael, but you're not only gay, but you're a bottom boy slut. 

Studly Driver: No wonder I don't seem to date much. Fuck...

Manly Car: Wait till you're in the car. 

Studly Driver: I'll be there in five minutes. God, you are a slut. As if that wasn't bad enough, you're a bottom boy slut, too.

Manly Car: Michael, are you going to join me or not? 

Studly Driver: I'll be there in five minutes, geeze, for someone that can't get off, you're awfully anxious. 

Manly Car: Who said I couldn't get off? You don't know that for sure, do you? 

Studly Driver: This is getting weirder by the moment. God, I'm on my way now. I wonder what he's going to do? Jesus, I'm hard for a car. I'm coming Sandburg, or soon will be. 

I'm going to rock that poor man's world. He'll be forever warm for my form.


	8. Doing the Deed!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Blair meet Knight Rider, again.

Doing the Deed  
by PattRose

Michael James Ellison couldn't get to the car fast enough. Maybe he should rethink that. He couldn't get to Kittburg fast enough. That damn car had a hold over him that scared Michael to death. He was thinking of helping a car get off. How weird, is that? While you're at it, tell yourself how this is going to be done, hot shot.

When Michael walked into the garage, he was happy to see Kittburg running already, purring like a kitten. "Couldn't even wait for me, eh?"

"No, you're slower than molasses. Did anyone ever tell you to get the lead out? Do you understand what that means, Michael? It means sometime in this century."

"Are you always this much of a sweet talker when you think there is sex involved." Michael said sarcastically.

"That is sweet talk, Ellison. Get a grip. And I do mean grip. I want to hear and see you do something right now."

"Excuse me, I can't get into it just like that. I have to work my way into it." 

"Michael James Ellison, take that cock out of your pants right now and let me see you start stroking it."

Like the good bottom boy slut that he knew he was, he pulled his cock out and started stroking while keeping his eyes closed. "Talk to me, Kittburg."

"Michael, your cock is beautiful and I want it in me."

"In where?" Michael asked totally confused. 

"Do you see this little opening here that looks like something that could be a cup holder, well it's not. It's for sex. I've been waiting for a long, long time for this."

Michael started stroking himself a little faster as he thought about it, and realized a car was turning him on. What is up with that? You really need to date more.

"Michael, put your cock into that opening and you'll feel something that you'll like."

"Holy shit, I don't want to. I'll come first thing." 

"Well, then you'll just get hard for me again in a few minutes." Kittburg demanded. 

Michael moved closer to the opening and slid his cock inside and felt something tight, warm and moist. Just as quickly, the channel began to milk Michael's cock and he was moaning and panting trying not to come that quickly. "Hot damn but this is good."

"Come for me Michael. Come right now."

"Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttburggggggggg..." Jim said as he came in long spurts, over and over again. God, this was the best sex he'd ever had. "Kittburg, that was the best thing I've ever felt in my life. What is that?"

"It's me, Michael. That's what I feel like inside of this body. See, I'm not just some cold hard machine, am I?"

"Fuck no. Geeze, you felt fantastic."

"Good, now we need to talk about what I get out of this, too." Kitt added. 

"What?"

"Take the knob off the end of the gear shift. Yes, just like that and then open up the box underneath the seat that I never let you open. In there you'll find a dildo. Put it on the end of the gear shift and then we'll get you ready for the ride of your life."

"Wait a minute. How would you feel that? I mean, that's the gear shift."

"I feel everything in this car, hot stuff. Do you want to fuck me again tonight?"

"You know I do."

"Then you better get busy. I want that dildo put on there and then you need to loosen your hole up, so we don't get carried away and hurt you."

Michael James Ellison had no clue as to what he was doing, but he did it anyhow. God, Kittburg made him warm for his form. Or whatever form he could take on. God, you're becoming a bigger slut every single minute, Ellison.

He slid the dildo onto the top of the gearshift and then he loosened up his hole with the lube that Kittburg just happened to have in that box along with the dildo. As he was preparing himself, Kittburg was revving up the engine. 

"Michael, slip two fingers in there now. That's right. That's a good boy. Now slip a third in there. Oh, that's good, my big boy. Now I want to hear you. Let me know how this makes you feel."

"Oh Jesus, Kittburg, I'm about ready to come already."

"Not yet, big guy. I want your ass. It's mine. Do you understand? You belong to me now."

"Okay, I understand. I think I might be ready."

"Very slowly, sit yourself down on the dildo. Very slowly, I said. Slow down, you slut boy."

"Sorry, I just got carried away."

"Well, calm yourself down, or this will be over before we begin. That's right, down slowly. A little more, hot shot. That's it, Michael. You're a good slut boy."

Once he was down on the gearshift, he just sat still and waited for instructions from Kittburg. He didn't need any. Suddenly, Kittburg started revving his engine and that made the dildo vibrate. Michael started moaning deeply. Each time he did it, the vibrations went straight to Ellison's prostate. He was so hot and horny, he was humming even before Kittburg started revving his engine.

"Now I need you to move on me, big boy. Up and down. That's right. What a good boy you are."

"Kittburg, I'm going to come. I have to come..."

"Not yet, do you hear?"

He stopped moving up and down and said, "I can't keep doing this and not come, Kittburg. Just because you can't come doesn't mean you have to take it out on me."

"Michael, listen to me. On the dashboard, where it says, windshield washer, push that button."

He pushed it and out came a very odd contraption that almost looked like another dildo. "What am I supposed to do with this, Kittburg?"

"I want you to take that into your mouth, big boy. I want you to suck me dry, do you hear?"

"Yes, I hear."

"Now suck and buck. Come on, big boy, show me what you can do," Kittburg begged, revving his motor more each time Michael landed on the dildo. 

He got busy and went to town. He was sucking the funny looking dildo and the taste was wonderful. Michael wasn't sure what it was, but it almost tasted sweet. Whatever it was, he could live with this. As he sucked harder, he was hitting the dildo on his prostate and finally, he heard a low moan come out of Kittburg and there was something sweet flowing down his mouth. At the very same time, he came all over the dashboard and spasmed around the dildo gearshift.

"Michael, you all right?"

"God, I'll never be all right again. What you do to me, Kittburg. You've ruined me for life."

"Good! So that means there will be no one else, right?"

"Who else could give me a blow job like you did and then fuck me until I'm sore? Jesus, your semen even tasted good. Why is that?"

"Because a woman created me, Michael. Only a woman would think to make my spunk taste good."

"Yeah, you're right. Hey Kittburg, you're not going to be doing this with anyone else, are you?"

"Not a chance. You're mine and I'm yours big boy. Now let's go to sleep."

After cleaning himself off, he fell asleep on the front seat unti


	9. Head Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Blair meet CHiPS

Head Games By Patt 

Jim Bakerson rode down the highway wondering where his partner was. He hadn't seen him this morning. Jim had finally broken down and told Blair Ponchburg how he felt about him last night. Blair was shocked and said he'd think about it. Now, Jim had to just wait it out and see what his partner thought. 

He wasn't even paying attention as a little sports car pulled out in front of him and sped up. Jim turned his siren on and was in hot pursuit. The little car pulled off the highway and went into a quiet deserted area off the main drag. Jim wasn't going to go into this blind; he was ready in case trouble would follow. 

Jim shut the engine off, and put the kickstand down as he got off the bike. He approached the car very carefully, not knowing what was in store for him. He rapped on the dark tinted window and said, "Want to show me that license that you don't seem to want to keep?" 

The window came down and Jim stood with his mouth open. There before him was Blair Ponchburg. If Jim was correct in what he could see, Ponchburg had no clothes on. "What are you doing, Ponch?" 

Blair opened up the car door and said, "I would think that would be pretty clear, even to a thick headed person like yourself." 

"Hey, who're you calling thick?" Jim asked. 

"Well, I'd like to see the merchandise before I actually say if you're thick or not," Blair said smiling and licking his lips. 

"We can't do this here. I'm on duty, you know that," Jim almost whispered. 

"Jim, you've got about two seconds to get those clothes off and fuck me or I'm leaving," Blair replied. 

Jim just couldn't help himself. He grabbed Blair, pulled him into his arms and began kissing him. "I want to fuck you so badly but a car could come by," Jim said. 

"I've been watching this road for some time and no one's going to come by, believe me," Blair said. 

Jim pulled away and started taking his clothing off. God, what was he doing? He would never do this normally. Well, hell, that explains it Bakerson. You're not normal anymore! 

Blair leaned into the small car and got out the lube and the condoms. As soon as he stood up, Jim was there and ready. "Have you ever done this, Jim?" 

"No, you going to tell me what to do?" Jim asked nervously. 

"Better! I'll show you," Blair said and pushed Jim up against the car. He started finger fucking him until Jim was asking him to fuck him. When he'd finally gotten him loosened up, he put a condom, slicked it up with more lube and started pushing his way in. Blair had bent Jim into the car so he could get a better angle. This was working like a charm. 

"Everything, okay, Jim?' 

"Everything's fine, Ponch," Jim said panting. 

Every time Ponch hit Jim's prostate, Jim howled and got closer and closer to completion. Finally, he came with a scream and Ponchburg followed not far behind. 

Getting their breathing back under control Jim said, "I have to get back to work, Ponch, I'll see you later." Kissing him, he started cleaning up and getting dressed. 

"Thanks, big man and by the way, you are really thick headed," Ponchburg said smiling. 

"See ya tonight?" Jim asked. 

"You betcha," Ponch said as he got dressed and got into his car. As he drove off, Jim wondered how he had gotten so fucking lucky. 

Jim walked back to his bike and saw something that made his blood turn to ice. Oh shit, I had the camera on. Holy fucking shit... Fuck... 

At headquarters, their boss was watching the tape and thinking, wonder what they think of threesomes? 

The end.


	10. Pushing Buttons!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Blair meet Star Trek.

Pushing Buttons By Patt 

Commander Spockburg and Captain James Kirellison were on the bridge trying to get the weapons systems to respond. 

"Spockburg, what is happening?" the Captain asked. 

"Sir, surely you can not expect me to know everything. I am the one that gets less screen time and less pay," Spockburg said stating a well-known fact. Anyone that knew Spockburg knew he was good at spouting off about facts. 

The doors opened and Nurse Megan Chapnor walked in and said, "Spockburg, do you have plans tonight?" 

"Nurse Chapnor, we are in the middle of a crisis here. I think this not the best time to discuss my dinner plans," Spockburg said trying to not lose his ever-present cool. 

She walked over to him and whispered to the man, hoping the Captain wouldn't hear, "I'll make it worth your while, Spockburg. I'll make you scream, if you give me a chance." 

"Pray tell, Nurse Chapnor, why would I want to scream?" Spockburg asked. 

"Because I'll make you feel like you've never felt before," she smiled and said. 

"Nurse Chapnor," Captain Kirellison muttered as he got closer to them. "Don't you have better things to do? We're in the middle of trying to fix something." 

"I have some things to do in medical. I'll come back later, Spockburg," she said as she walked away. 

"Captain, I do not understand humans," Spockburg said. 

"What are you wondering about, Spockburg?" Kirellison asked. 

"Why is she so interested in seeing me in my quarters? I do not understand her at all," Spockburg muttered. 

Captain Kirellison moved closer to Spockburg and said, "Remember what we like to do when we're in the holodeck? Well, that's what she wants to do with you." 

"Captain, I do not understand," Spockburg said as he still tried unsuccessfully to fix the intercom to engineering. 

Getting closer to Spockburg, the Captain said, "You know how much we like to touch each other?" 

"Yes?" Spockburg said, raising his eyebrows, still not understanding this at all. 

"Well, that's what she wants to do also," Captain Kirellison said. 

"This is not logical, James. Why would she wish to do what we do? She has no penis," Spockburg said. 

"She wants you to use your penis in her vagina. That's what she wants," the Captain said smiling at his friend and lover who was totally lost on this. 

"James, you know I do not like vagina," Spockburg said quietly so only his Captain would be able to hear with his fantastic hearing. 

"Exactly, but she doesn't know that you don't like vagina," the Captain said trying to be patient. 

"So, I should tell her tonight?" Spockburg asked. 

"Only if you're comfortable with that, Spockburg," Kirellison said. 

"Perhaps we could show her instead, oh Captain, my Captain," Spockburg said smiling. 

"Why didn't I think of that? Yes, good thinking, Commander Spockburg. Now, anything new on why the weapons aren't working?" Captain Kirellison asked. 

"Sir, they have been working for three minutes and sixteen seconds. I thought you were aware of this. I should have told you," Spockburg said. 

"I'll let you play with my button, tonight, Spockburg," the Captain said as he headed to his post. 

Spockburg looked over at Captain Kirellison and said, "You are so going to get it tonight. Perhaps we should start now." 

"Good idea, that's why you're my top man," Kirellison said as he headed to the lift. 

As Spockburg joined him in the lift, he said, "Oh Captain, my Captain, you know I am always your top ma  
n." 

The end.


	11. The Sentinel meets Wizard of OZ!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Blair meet the Wizard of Oz.

The Sentinel Meets Wizard of Oz  
by Patt

 

Blairothy Sandburg had to follow the yellow brick road, to try and make it back home to his Auntie Em. He knew he had to do something because he was afraid to be alone for this long. After all, he was only a young man. Not really old enough to be on his own. 

He stopped along the road, at a farm area to take a piss. He stood in front of a scarecrow and pulled his cock out to begin the chore. 

"That's a nice cock you got there, young man." The Scarecrow said. "It's been awhile since I've seen one. I hadn't remembered how much I enjoyed looking at them."

Blair jumped when he heard the scarecrow talk. "This isn't possible."

"Hey, you're the one walking down the street, singing, 'follow the yellow brick road'. You might find this a little more believable than Munchkins."

"That was sort of weird. I felt really odd talking to them. They all talked like they had sucked on helium for too long."

"I've been here for years, and I'm sick of their voices too."

"So what's your name and what's your game?"

Jumping down from the stake, he adjusted his straw and held out his hand, "Jim Scarecowellison, glad to meet you."

"Can I just call you Jim?"

"That would be great. What's your name?"

"Blairothy Sandburg. I live with my Auntie Em and need to get back to her."

"Blairothy? You don't seem like a Blairothy to me. No, more like a Blair. So that's what I'll call you."

"I like Blair a lot better than Blairothy. Thanks. Now if I could just talk Auntie Em into calling me that, I'd have it made."

"What's the problem, Blair?"

"Well she thinks I'm still a child. Even though I'm a grown man. Just because I run around singing all the time and carrying my dog in a basket doesn't mean anything. Right?"

"Right, I think that all sounds perfectly normal. But you also have to keep in mind that I've got no brain."

"Man, you have no brain? How are you talking and stuff then?"

"I don't know. I have no brain, remember?"

"Oh yeah. Okay, well I'm off to see the Wizard, do you want to go and ask him if you can get a brain?"

Scarecrowellison smiled up down at Blair and said, "Sounds like a plan to me."

They walked down the road a little ways and Blair grabbed the scarecrows hand and started skipping and singing. "Wait a minute. I don't want to skip and sing. Jesus what if that fucking Wicked Witch of the West or East sees us. I'd never live it down."

"Fine, don't sing then. I'll do all of the singing." He started skipping by himself and sang, "We're off to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz."

"Catchy little tune. Know anything about Rainbows? I love rainbow songs." Jim asked sweetly. 

"Yeah I do know one, I'll sing for you later on tonight, okay?"

"Sure enough. Well it's starting to get dark, we better hole up for the night. How about at this little cabin up ahead?"

"Yeah, that looks good."

Once they got into the cabin, they found places to sleep on the floor and Blair asked, "So, I've never met a scarecrow before. Do you have body parts?"

"Are you asking me if I have a dick?"

"Well yeah, I guess so."

"Didn't your Auntie Em talk to you about asking guys about their dicks?"

"No, can't say as that ever came up in conversation. So you don't?"

"I didn't say I didn't. I just said, it's rude to ask."

"So you're saying you do?"

"What in the hell are you so damn interested?"

"Because I've never seen another dick and I'd like to. I like the way you look. You have a nice face."

"What does my face have to do with looking to see if I have a dick or not?"

"Nothing, forget I mentioned it." Blair said lying back with an air of defeat. 

"Yes, I have one. But I've not used it in many, many years. Or maybe I have, remember, I have no brain?"

Giggling Blair looked over at the scarecrow and asked, "Could I see it?"

"I guess it wouldn't hurt." Jim said standing up and pulling out some of the straw and along with it, came a nice long cock. Blair just lay there with his mouth hanging open and didn't know what to do or say. 

"That good enough, kid?"

"I'm not a fucking kid, I told you that. I'm 30 years old. I just act young."

"So, you done looking?"

"No, a little while longer. Okay?"

"Geeze, the things, I'll do for a brain."

As Blair stared at Jim's cock, it began to get larger and larger. Blair was impressed. "Can I touch it?"

"I guess so." Jim answered shyly. 

The younger man, touched it softly, shyly and tenderly. The smile that appeared on his face, was like one of an angel. Before Jim knew what happened, Blair was down on his knees and had Jim's cock in his mouth. He began sucking, licking and chewing. Jim was about to go out of his mind with need. 

"I'm going to come, you better move."

Blair didn't move, he stayed right there and took every last drop of come that Jim shot into his warm and inviting mouth. 

Jim was getting his breath back and said, "Well I know now I don't need to see the Wizard."

"Why's that, Jim?"

"Because I had a brain, and you just sucked it right out of my cock. I was never sure before. This was my first time. I've got a brain. Hot damn."

"Hey, wanna do me?" Blair asked sweetly. 

"Do I look stupid? I told ya, I've got a brain. Now get over here and pull down those pants. Jesus, could you sing that song for me now?"

"Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue. I want to fuck, this scarecrow, why oh why wouldn't you? Like this song so far, Jim?"

"Yeah, just keep singing, you taste great."

"I'm off to see his tonsils, the wonderful tonsils of Jim. Because, because, because of the wonderful things it does. Because of the wonderful things it does, because of the wonderful things it does, fuck... fuck... fuck..."

"I'm trying, Blair. I'm trying."

As Blair came into Jim's mouth, he shouted, "I'm so glad you have a brain. And I now have a home."

"I love you too, Blair."

"Lie down here and show me what else you have in there."

The end.


	12. The Boys!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and BLair meet Seinfield.

The Boys! By Patt 

Jim Constanson stood looking in the mirror and wondered when he had lost all of his hair. God, it was heartbreaking. Well, it was to Jim, he didn't know about anyone else. Blairy never said anything, but he had a clue that it bothered him, too. 

Jim had moved in with Blairy Seinburg the moment he got a chance. He not only liked his ass but he took very good care of him financially. Still lost in thought, he heard the door and went to answer it. 

Opening the door, he found Kozmo Rafemer. "Hey, Rafe, whatcha need?" Jim asked opening the door for their neighbor. 

"Hey, Constanson, why are you still here? Didn't Blairy only let you stay one night? I've seen you here for over a week," Rafemer said. 

"You have a problem with me being in Blairy's apartment?" Jim asked, getting a little sick of everyone thinking he used Blairy. 

"No, I don't have a problem, Jim. I just think that sometimes Blairy doesn't tell people how he really feels about things. Don't wear out your welcome," Rafemer said as he walked back to his apartment. 

Yeah, well, I'll show Blairy how he feels about things. The only thing that I'm going to wear out is Blairy's ass. 

*** 

Jim had barely sat down when Blairy came walking into the apartment. "Hey, Blairy, how was your day?" 

"It was great! I thought up a ton of new ideas and thought I might try some of them on your later on," Blairy said smiling at his love. 

"Blairy, does it bother you that I'm losing my hair?" Jim asked. 

"Jim, I'm like so over that one. It's time to move on to a new neurosis," Blairy said. 

"What else's wrong with me, Blairy?" Jim whined. 

"Jim, you don't hold a job, you don't make any money to speak of and you live with me," Blairy said. 

"So, I'm driving you nuts here at the apartment?" Jim asked. 

"Jim, the only nuts I want to see driving are yours next to my ass. Got that?" Blairy asked and Jim Constanson didn't need to be told more than once. He started kissing Blairy passionately until there was a knock on the door. Opening it up, Blairy said, "Elaingan, what are you doing here?" 

Elaingan came in, shut the door and said, "Nothing, I just wanted to see what was cooking around here." 

"I'll tell you what was cooking," Jim said fuming, "Blairy is cooking and I was about to get my first taste. Would you leave?" 

"No, get out of town. You two are a couple?" Elaingan asked laughing. 

"If you say a couple of what, I'm going to have to kill you, Elaingan," Blairy said. 

"See you guys tomorrow, have fun. Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Oh wait, I guess you have to do things I couldn't do," Elaingan said. 

"That was so fucking funny we almost forgot to laugh," Jim said. 

Shutting the door behind their friend, Blairy turned around and said, "So, you want to show me who's the boss?" 

"Hey, Blairy, can you lip sync at least one song of the Supremes?" Jim asked. 

"Hell, yes, why?" Blairy asked. 

"Someone told me at the diner that it was a sign of being gay. Hell, if that was the case, I should have been with you since the Supremes came out. I've always known their songs," Jim said smiling heading into the bedroom. 

"Want to sing it to me, Chrome dome?" Blairy asked. 

"I might think about it," Jim answered. 

"Now who's the boss?" Blairy asked. 

"Oh yeah, I'll show you," Constanson said laughing all the way into the bedroom.


	13. The Sentinel Meets Pulp Fiction!

An old gas guzzling, dirty, white 1974 Chevy Nova BARRELS down  
a homeless-ridden street in Hollywood. In the front seat are  
two friends -- one white, one black -- both wearing nice  
black suits with thin black ties under long green dusters.  
Their names are VINCENT JAMES VEGAELLISON (white) and JULES   
SIMON WINNBANKS (black). Jules is behind the wheel.

JULES  
\-- okay now, tell me about the hash bars?

VINCENT  
What so you want to know? Hell you don't even smoke the shit.

JULES  
Well, hash is legal there, right? I might start...

VINCENT  
Yeah, it's legal, but is ain't a  
hundred percent legal. I mean you  
can't walk into a restaurant, roll  
a joint, and start puffin' away.  
You're only supposed to smoke in  
your home or certain designated places.

JULES  
Those are hash bars? I need to know.

VINCENT  
Yeah, it breaks down like this:  
it's legal to buy it, it's legal to  
own it and, if you're the proprietor   
of a hash bar, it's legal to sell it.   
It's legal to carry it, which doesn't   
really matter 'cause -- get a load of   
this-- if the cops stop you, it's  
illegal for this to search you.  
Searching you is a right that the  
cops in Amsterdam don't have.

JULES  
That did it, man -- I'm fuckin'  
goin', that's all there is to it.

VINCENT  
You'll dig it the most. But you  
know what the funniest thing about  
Europe is?

JULES  
What?  
VINCENT  
It's the little differences. A  
lotta the same shit we got here,  
they got there, but there they're a  
little different.

JULES  
Examples?

VINCENT  
First example is, they are more accepting of   
same sex couples and marriages. We could go   
there for that more than anything. 

JULES  
Are you telling me that you'd want to marry me?   
You're a fucking romantic, you know that VJ?

VINCENT  
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now give me a kiss and I'll  
tell you more about the differences.

JULES  
I'm not going to fucking complain about a kiss.   
I love you, baby.

VINCENT  
I love you back. Now to continue, in Amsterdam,   
you can buy beer in a movie theatre. And I don't   
mean in a paper cup either. They give you a glass   
of beer, like in a bar. In Paris, you can buy beer   
at MacDonald's. Also, you know what they call a   
Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?

JULES  
They don't call it a Quarter  
Pounder with Cheese?

VINCENT  
No, they got the metric system  
there, they wouldn't know what the  
fuck a Quarter Pounder is.

JULES  
What'd they call it?

VINCENT  
Royale with Cheese.

JULES  
(repeating)  
Royale with Cheese. What'd they  
call a Big Mac?

VINCENT  
Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call  
it Le Big Mac.

JULES  
What do they call a Whopper?

VINCENT  
I dunno, I didn't go into a Burger  
King. But you know what they put  
on french fries in Holland instead  
of ketchup?

JULES  
What?

VINCENT  
Mayonnaise.

JULES  
Goddamn!

VINCENT  
I seen 'em do it. And I don't mean  
a little bit on the side of the  
plate, they fuckin' drown 'em in it.

JULES  
Uuccch! I wouldn't even eat mayo if it was  
on your cock.

VINCENT  
Thanks, I think.

 

INT. CHEVY (TRUNK) - MORNING 

The trunk of the Chevy OPENS UP, Jules and Vincent reach  
inside, taking out two .45 Automatics, loading and cocking  
them.

JULES  
We should have shotguns for this  
kind of deal.

VINCENT  
How many up there?

JULES  
Three or four.

VINCENT  
Counting our guy?

JULES  
I'm not sure.

VINCENT  
So there could be five guys up  
there?

JULES  
It's possible.

VINCENT  
We should have fuckin' shotguns.

They close the trunk and kiss each other and head into the building.

VINCENT  
IF we fucking live, I'm going to  
fuck you blind.

JULES  
If we live, I'll gladly be blind.   
Now lets get this show on the road.   
I love you VJ.

VINCENT  
I love you back, JS.


	14. Together in Electric Dreams!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Blair meet Star Trek TNG.

Together In Electric Dreams By Patt 

Sandy, the Star Fleet Android, was busy helping Commander James Ryker. There had been some problems with the weapons systems and they needed to be sure it was up and running in the next hour. James looked over at Sandy and wondered if he knew how great he looked. Probably not. He's an android and they don't think about that. 

Sandy watched from across the room as Commander James Ryker stared at him and Sandy knew what he was thinking. James wasn't aware of the fact that Sandy, although being an android, totally loved dick. It all began about six months before. 

Six months earlier. 

Dr. Megan Crushor called Sandy into her office to tell him the latest news on the emotion chip. They had done all sorts of tests and trial runs and finally it was ready to be used by Sandy. This was Dr. Crushor's happiest day. 

"Come in, Sandy, I have the emotion chip for you," she said smiling as he came in and stood at attention. Soon, he would be a little less rigid. 

"Thank you for doing all of this research, Doctor," Sandy said still standing there at attention. 

"Are you ready, Sandy?" she asked. 

"As ready as I will ever be, Dr. Crushor," Sandy answered. 

She lifted up Sandy's forehead and moved the circuits that were in the way. She placed the emotion chip inside and started it running and closed his forehead again. "All done, Sandy. Now if you have any troubles, you let me know, okay?" 

"Thank you, Doctor," Sandy answered getting ready to leave the room, when he suddenly turned around, smiled and hugged the surprised doctor. 

"Well, I see the chip's working, Sandy. I'm glad," Dr. Crushor, said, "you might want to check out these articles in the computer on human sexuality and so on." 

Sandy took the list from her and wondered why she would have given him a list of homosexual articles to read. He had been with someone sexually before, but it was a woman. Why would Dr. Crushor think he needed to read about men? Sandy thought about this all the way back to his quarters. 

He entered his quarters and sat down to read the articles. He found it fascinating, to say the least, when he read about the male prostate. He wondered if he had one. There was only one sure way to find out. He would have to ask Dr. Crushor. He walked down to her office and asked if he could see her alone. 

"Come in, Sandy," she said. 

"I have a question, Doctor," Sandy said, "I was wondering if I have a prostate." 

"Yes, you do. I checked some time ago when I was doing tests on you. Why do you ask?" Doctor Crushor asked. 

"I am very interested in the idea of male/male relationships. I am not sure anyone would be happy to hear that, but I found it most fascinating," Sandy said. 

Doctor Crushor stood up and said, "I'm going to bring you a few things tonight and you can take it from there." 

Sandy left her office wondering what in the world she would be bringing him. That afternoon he had a hard time concentrating on work and work alone. He kept having his mind wander to thinking about the prostate. He knew he'd have to get back into the working frame of mind, or Commander Ryker would have his ass. Holy shit, why did I say that and why is my penis as hard as a rock now? And why would I say holy shit? 

That night Megan Crushor showed up at Sandy's door, handed him a box and said, "This is for you. Everything you need to make you feel better." Smiling, she turned and walked out the door as quickly as she had come in. Inside was an odd shaped item which almost looked like a penis when erect. Smiling, Sandy realized what it was. There was a little disc that he put into the computer and it told him what to do with it and how. Sandy followed directions and found himself loving every moment of it. He came three times that night and realized he was going to have to practice on a male human one of these days. 

Present day. 

Sandy was still waiting for the nerve to ask Commander James Ryker to come to his quarters for dinner. He looked up and James was watching him with an odd look in his eyes. Sandy finally just got up and walked over to him, as he said, "Would you like to come to my quarters for dinner tonight?" 

"That would be great," James said smiling and Sandy found himself getting hard instantly and realized that was one thing he really hated about these damn uniforms. You could see everything in them; there was no room for erections. 

Commander James Ryker looked down and saw Sandy's obvious problem and said, "How about lunch instead? We could go now. We're both off duty." 

"Good idea, Commander," Sandy said walking as quickly as he could to his quarters. Commander James Ryker followed closely behind. 

As soon as the door closed on his quarters, they were in each others arms. "Jesus, I never dreamed you would go for men," James said laughing. 

"Dr. Crushor got me hooked on dick about six months ago and I've been trying to get up the nerve to ask you ever since," Sandy said. 

James said, "How do you want to do this? I never know who should be top and who should be bottom." 

"How about we do each other? You go first and then I'll be next," Sandy said smiling and licking his lips. 

James couldn't get out of his clothing fast enough and stood naked in front of Sandy. The Android had never actually seen a naked human male in person, so this was new and exciting. Ryker smiled and said, "Call me Jim." 

"Jim, I hope you're not tired because I can do this a lot longer than a human can," Sandy said. 

"Hot damn, an android slut," James said running for the bedroom. 

The end.


	15. To Hurt or Not To Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Blair meet OZ.

To Hurt or Not To Hurt By Patt 

Toblairas Beechburg stood up from his bunk stretching his sore body. He'd been rode hard and put away wet last night. Not that he was complaining, mind you. He looked over at his sleeping lover on the top bunk and said, "Hey, Ellerson, time to get up. We don't want to miss breakfast." 

Ellerson opened his eyes, smiled up at the man he adored and said, "Get you ass into the shower, Beechburg, I want to fuck it right now." 

Beechburg could hardly resist when Ellerson sweet talked him and rushed into the shower waiting for the man to join him. When he saw Ellerson walk into the shower, everyone else in the shower watched, too. The older and much larger man was indeed something to watch. As he took his clothing off, the other men were drooling. Beechburg thought that this was half of the turn on for Ellerson. Whatever it was, it worked for both of them. 

Beechburg stood in the shower getting clean and Ellerson came up from behind him and said, "You're mine, Beechburg and if I ever see you sucking anyone else's cock, I'll kick your ass." 

"Ellerson, you know I belong to only you; besides who else would treat me as good as you've done?" Beechburg asked. 

Ellerson loosened Beechburg up somewhat and then entered him in one swift move. Crying out with something between pain and passion, Beechburg said, "Ellerson, I love you." 

"I know that, Beech. Only a man in love would forgive me for breaking your arms and legs. Only a man in love would continue to let me fuck his ass each and every night even when he finds out that I might have killed gay men years ago," Ellerson said gruffly as he pounded into Beechburg. 

"I know that you lost control, Elle. I know that you had little to do with what happened. It was like someone else was pulling your strings and I'm here to help you see that it doesn't happen again," Beechburg said. 

"You're such a good man and you have the finest ass in all of Oz," Ellerson said as he started getting closer and closer to completion. He reached around, pulled Beechburg's cock and started pumping in time with his thrusts into the man. Before long, Beechburg was screaming Ellerson's name loudly. 

Being pulled over the edge, Ellerson had to scream out too, but he forgot who he was with for a moment and said, "McManus...I mean, Murphy...I mean, Beechburg." 

"Wait a minute, why would you call out the two guards names in the middle of mind blowing sex?" Beechburg asked. 

"I couldn't help it, Beech. Their faces came into my mind at that moment. We can't control what our thoughts are all the time, you know?" Ellerson answered. 

"Maybe you should go and fuck them, Ellerson," Beechburg said angrily. 

"You're acting like a jealous girlfriend," Ellerson spat back. 

"I am your girlfriend, Ellerson, did you forget that?" Beechburg asked. 

"Oh yeah, sorry. I keep forgetting that we don't have like real women here. Sorry about that Beech, I promise to try and keep you and you alone in my thoughts from here on in," Ellerson said hanging his head. 

"Good, because if it happens again, or if I catch you with anyone else, I'll cut those balls right off. You won't have to worry about getting that bad boy up ever again," Beechburg said. 

Making a face at the thought alone, Ellerson knew that he was going to have to shape up, Beechburg was no one to be messing with. He didn't like to share. He might not be as big as everyone else, but he was wiry. He was a force to be reckoned with. Well, shit, McManus and Murphy were going to meet me after dinner tonight for a three way. Maybe I could ask Toblairas to join us. That's the ticket; I'll talk to him about it now. 

"Beech, could I ask you a question?" Ellerson asked. 

"Sure, Ellerson, you know I'm always here for you," Beechburg said. 

"How do you feel about four way's?" Ellerson asked looking back at Beechburg, trying to see if he could gauge his lover's feelings from the look alone. 

"No, we're not doing a four way with McManus and Murphy and if you ever fuck them again, I'll kill you. Do you understand me now?" Beech asked. 

"Yup, no problem. I love you, Beechburg," Ellerson said drawing him in for a long kiss before they would get dressed for breakfast. 

Ellerson had to go and get his shoes from his quarters and said, "I'll meet you in the mess hall, Beech." 

On the way, Beechburg saw McManus and Murphy and said, "Okay, guys, are we still on for later tonight? I think I'll surprise Ellerson with a four way." 

"Sounds good to us, Beechburg, you're one in a million." McManus said. 

Smiling, Beechburg walked to the mess hall knowing that he was going to make Ellerson happier than he'd ever been in his life. Then I might fucking break all the bones in his body and see if he'll forgive me and still love me. 

The end.


	16. Waiting For a Guy Like You.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Blair meet Gilligans Island.

Waiting For A Guy Like You By Patt 

Blairigan was walking through the jungle as he usually did when he heard the Professor up ahead of him. And what he heard made Blairigan smile warmly. He snuck a look around the big tree and saw the Professor jacking off buck-naked. Blairigan took his clothes off quietly and grabbed a coconut in case they'd need some oil and walked up behind the Professor. 

When the Professor saw and heard Blairigan, he jumped and became embarrassed. He stopped what he was doing and looked at Blairigan, naked for the first time. He had never seen him naked before and hoped that he would be seeing much more of him from this day forth. 

"Don't stop what you were doing, I was just getting into it," Blairigan said. 

"I didn't realize you liked men, Blairigan," the Professor said. 

"Well, I didn't know but we've been on this island for some time and I've been watching Megan Ann and Garlic and they don't do a thing for me," Blairigan said smiling. 

Blairigan started rubbing his body up against the larger man's and smiled when he heard the Professor moan from the touch. "Professor, how do you want to do this?" 

"Any way you want, god, I need you so bad, Blairigan," the Professor said. 

"You'll have me inside of you soon enough. Have you done this before?" Blairigan asked the professor. 

"No, I was hoping you knew what to do," the Professor said totally bummed out. "We have no computers to go and do research with, what will we do?" 

"Professor, don't be goofy, for years men did this without instruction. It must be easier than it seems," Blairigan said. 

"What are you going to do with the coconut, Blairigan?" the Professor asked, almost afraid of the answer. 

"Relax, on top of the milk, oil can be found. We need something slick to help with this," Blairigan said cutting the coconut open as fast as he could. 

"Little buddy? Little buddy? Where are you?" the skipper called out. 

"Well shit. Stay right here, don't you move, okay?" Blairigan asked. 

"I'm not going anywhere," the professor said. 

"Hey skipper, did you need me for something?" Blairigan asked his large friend. 

"Yeah, I wanted you to help me find some things for dinner tonight. Blairigan, why are you naked and hard?" the Skipper asked. 

"Because I was getting ready to nail the Professor," Blairigan said honestly. 

"Sorry, Blairigan, you go back to what you were doing," the Skipper said moving off as quickly as he had come. 

"Hey Skipper? Would you be sure to keep Megan Ann and Garlic away for awhile?" Blairigan asked. 

"Sure will, little buddy," the skipper said as he walked off smiling. I won't feel that comfortable calling him little buddy from here on in, will I? 

Blairigan walked back to the brush and found the Professor in exactly the same place as he had left him. "Ready, Professor?" 

"I've been ready for four years, Blairigan. What took us so long?" the Professor started. 

"One of the problems might be that you never even felt comfortable enough to tell us your name. I mean, I don't want to be fucking your wonderful brains out and say, 'oh yeah, professor.' Want to tell me?" Blairigan asked with laughter in his voice. 

"It's Jim. Call me Jim," the Professor said. 

"Okay, you're Jim and I'd like you to just call me Blair," Blairigan said pulling the professor down for a kiss. 

Things began to get hot and heavy and once they felt a little more comfortable, Blairigan started preparing Jim for the fucking of his life. They were so into it that they didn't hear anyone enter the clearing. They probably wouldn't have cared anyway. 

As Blairigan pounded into the Professor, they were both chanting each other's names. Finally Blairigan reached around and started pulling on the little Professor until the big Professor was screaming, Blairigan... Following close behind was Blairigan shooting his come into the warm tight channel. God, I wonder if he'd let me do this about four times a day. 

The Professor heard a noise, turned, and found the Howell's sitting on a blanket watching them. 

"Luvvy, I do believe this is better than cable television," Mr. Howell said. 

The end.


	17. Wear the Suit!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Blair meet Batman.

Wear the Suit  
by PattRose

James Wayson walked into the Wayson-Greyburg Manor and smiled at the thought of his love. He was the luckiest person in the world. How many other people were not only super-heroes but also has wild monkey sex with their partner every chance they got? James would think there would be few, if any. He was indeed a very blessed man. 

Alfred walked up to him and asked, "Sir, are you hungry?" 

"Alfred, knock off the sir crap. Where's Blair?"

"Where do you think?"

"Shit, waiting down in the bat cave, again?"

"Yes, James, and he said to hurry up."

"I kid you not Alfred, he's going to wear me out."

"But what a way to go, sir?"

"You said it. Talk to you later on. When's dinner?"

"In two hours. I figured you'd need time to rest up after Master Blair gets you in his arms."

"Thanks, Alfred, you're the best." James said as he walked to the bat cave entrance.

When James walked into the cave, the first thing he saw was his bat suit hanging out in the open. Shit, he wants me to wear the friggin suit again? Man, this is getting old. "Hey, do I get a hello?"

"Not until you get that suit on, big man. Then I'm going to fuck you senseless."

James started taking off his clothing quite slowly and Blair walked around, naked and just stood there. James smiled and said, "Like the suit."

"What's going on, James? Why are you dragging your feet? Something wrong?"

"Well actually yeah, there is. I'm tired of you making love to me in my suit. Couldn't we make love like normal people for a change?"

"Well, you don't like the way we do it, eh?"

"That's not what I said Blair and you know it." James said as he continued to take things off of his body. 

"Hey, no rush, I'm fucking the suit tonight. I don't need you, big man." Blair said smiling evilly. 

"What do you mean by that?"

Blair walked up to the bat suit and started rubbing his body all over it. As he got harder and harder he started moaning. When he started licking the suit, Jim almost lost it. 

"All right, let me get into it. I was wrong. It's a turn on for me too."

"I know; you're a slut, James. But you're my slut. Hurry it up man, or I'll fuck the suit."

James got out of his clothing as fast as he could. He then got into his batsuit, sans the bottoms. He was naked from the waist down. 

"Holey Moley Batman. You've got a really nice piece here," Blair said as he rubbed James' cock with his hand, making the man come closer and closer and hadn't really even done that much yet. 

James was getting into it big time when the door above opened and Alfred said, "Sir, Commissioner Banks is here. What do you want me to tell him?"

"I'll tell you what to tell him," Blair said, "unless he wants to join us for a three way, he best sit down and wait."

Alfred coughed and said, "I'll tell him you'll be up shortly, sir."

"James is never up shortly, Alfred. Remember that." Blair said beaming as James turned beet red. 

"Robin, I want to come."

"So come, am I stopping you?"

"Come on baby, come with me." James said begging. 

Blair got James ready and slid into him with James moaning with the initial pain. Soon that was replaced by the feeling of him never wanting Blair to leave his ass. God, Blair could fuck his ass well. As he pounded into him, hitting his prostate over and over again, Jim came screaming, "Robin."

Blair came moments later, yelling out, "Batman."

"Next time, big man, just wear the suit, and don't waste time."

"Yes Robin." Batman said smiling and kissed the man he loved more than life itself. 

The end.


End file.
